Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
