doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize