im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
