Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
