I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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