I faked an abortion last night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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