Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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