apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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