I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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