Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
