Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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