Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
