it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Couch. On fire.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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