can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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