It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
