its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
