If i come over, it means nothing
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
