He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
