Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
