What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize