My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
