thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
