RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
