So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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