im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
