Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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