This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
