I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
