As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
