that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
