I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
