my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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