There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
