Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The dick lei will go down in squad history
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
