So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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