I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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