Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
PANTIES FOUND
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