girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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