so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
