Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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