Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
