I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
