I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
