my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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