Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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