Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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