you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
