Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
