I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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