Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic