he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.