He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
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I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.