Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.