sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out