If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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