You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
