I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize