we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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