I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
