Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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