remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize