you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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