We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
